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Remembering Dad: Barrister Nazmul Hussain (Makhan)

Barrister Nazmul Hussain(1927-2008) 

Shortly before I started to write this article on my father, Barrister Nazmul Hussain, I read something in the Gulf News that caught my eye.  It talked about how the elder generation prefer to give their heirs their outlook on life rather than money.  It reminded me of my father and how his outlook on life has been an influencing factor in my life, not just now that he has passed on, but even during his life. He had a wonderful life and I am truly honoured to be his daughter.  It is only after his departure that I realise what a truly wonderful person he was and what he meant to all those that knew him especially my mother and of course me.  His friends circle spanned the earth from the Asian subcontinent, North America and Canada, the Middle East and through me, people in Australia and of course in the UK.   

My father, Barrister Nazmul Hussain or ‘Makhan’ as he was known, was born into a respected family in Jorhat, Assam, India on March 27, 1927. He passed away peacefully on April 11, 2008 at Whipps Cross Hospital in London and was laid to rest at the Garden of Peace Cemetery in Hainault, London the following afternoon.  One of the most touching emails I received recently, stated what a truly special person he was.  It said that he was a real character with a dry, witty sense of humour; he was entertaining, lovable and very hardworking.  He had uncompromising principles, was honest and possessed a great deal of integrity.  Moreover, he was a kind and genuine person that cared for humanity and would go to all ends of the earth to help anybody and everybody.

Abbu left Assam to pursue his higher education in the UK in 1954.  He had already decided that he was going to leave India and sold his land to pay for his ticket and start his new life.  A year later he returned to India and married my mother and they sailed back to the UK together.  When my parents finally arrived in London they had one suitcase and that was pretty much it.  How different it was for me when I arrived in Dubai in 2005 with almost an entire household!!

He finally passed his exams and was called to the Bar in 1963, which was the year that I was born.  Four years later, my sister Sameena came into this world.  I believe that he had wanted to go back to Assam but my sister having severe learning difficulties required appropriate medical treatment and training which would not have been possible back home.  Hence the decision to stay back in the UK was taken.  Despite that, Abbu kept a close watch on the goings on in Assam.  I am so proud of the fact that even in his 70’s and 80’s he took the time to learn how to use the Internet so that he could email his friends back home and read the Indian newspapers.   I know for a fact that he did want to visit Assam again before he passed away.  He mentioned this to me in January and said that he was hoping that both my parents would travel to India after going for a pilgrimage to Makkah in March/April of this year.  Unfortunately, it was not meant to be!!
When I look back on his life what do I remember about him?  As a child I was scared of him.  He had a rather intimidating voice and I often asked my mother why he would shout.  She would reply that his voice was like that.  Abbu never shouted at anybody, least of all us. Prior to the birth of my sister, I was very attached to my mother and would not let Abbu share anything with me.  However, once Sameena was born and her growing needs requiring my mother’s attention, my focus moved to my father.  He was not a strict father but discipline was something that reigned in our household.  He was a strong believer in ‘doing the right thing’, which included ‘eating at the right time’ and ‘going to bed at the right time’.  In fact I still remember how he would say to me ‘early to bed, early to rise. That’s the way to be happy and wise’.  It is probably one of the reasons why I now love my mornings, although I have not managed to get the ‘early to bed’ right yet!!  

On my 21st birthday I remember the card that he had sent me.  It said that I should follow my dreams.  That is what I have done (with his blessings).  I wanted to travel the world; also something that Abbu encouraged me to do.  He said that there is nothing that can take the place of what you learn when you travel and meet people of different cultures and races.  He and my mother gave me the foundation, provided me with the education to avail the job opportunities that enabled me to travel be it on business or personally.  However, he also inculcated the essence of humility in me, as he was by nature a very humble man.  I can proudly say that friends believe that my personality has not changed from when I first began my career to now, and that is attributable to my solid and down to earth upbringing that both my parents gave me.   Despite this simple attitude that was drilled into my head, Abbu also introduced me to the finer things in life and most important of all, the love of food.

We were a real ‘foodie’ family and any occasion to celebrate.  Whenever I was at home our Sunday lunch would be roast chicken that Abbu would prepare in the rotisserie oven.  It’s something that reminds me of home.  The last time we had roast dinner was on Xmas day 2007 because when I returned to London in January, my sister had passed away and we were no longer a family of four.  Most special occasions were marked with special meals of pullao or biriyani and prepared either by myself or Mummy.  Abbu’s speciality was his ‘bhuna lamb’ which he would make whenever we had guests.  He would proudly say that he learnt his cooking when he was a cub scout.  I learnt to cook at a very young age and up until January would ask him for marks out of ten on any meals that I would conjure up.  Not only did he encourage me with my cooking but also in my career.

As a professional woman, Abbu would follow my career with great fervour.  If ever he found information that he thought I would be interested in, he would cut them out of the newspaper and save them for me.  I miss the fact that I can no longer discuss issues with him and ask his advice on professional matters.  He was a great listener and provided solid, wise advice.  Whether I chose to take his advice was another matter.  He always admired the fact that he had brought me up to be independent and just wanted me to be happy.  I know for a fact that he faced criticism from outsiders for having allowed me to live on my own but he was not one for listening to others.  He had a stubborn streak in him, which is something that I too possess.  He taught me the difference between ‘right’ and wrong’ primarily influenced by his religious beliefs.  He was not a fundamentalist by any means, despite the fact that he associated with many conservative people.  On the contrary his views were rather radical for which I am truly appreciative.  In any discussions that touched on religion with outsiders he would not impose his views but listened and occasionally aired his own opinions.   Subsequent to his passing I have been told that he considered himself and me as Rebels, which I can identify.

His advice to me during the last few days of his life was to appreciate those people who had helped us, us meaning my mother and I, and to be grateful. He mentioned these people in name and spoke to them individually.  They have been tremendous in this journey of bereavement, not just during the loss of Abbu but also my sister who passed away on New Years Day.  They have become an integral part of what is left of my family and I would like them to know how appreciative both my mother and I are for all the help and love they have given us.  At the end of the day, my father and my sister cannot come back to us.  We miss them terribly but the pain of their loss has been eased by the support we have received.

As my mother and I try to heal from the loss of both Abbu and Sameena I have decided to compile a book on my father and would appreciate any articles or thoughts from friends/family. I can be contacted by email on naziahussain@yahoo.com There is a lot about him that I am unaware of especially prior to my existence in this world that I would like to find out about.

Many thank.

Nazia Hussain, UK

Comments

It was very touching and tears rolled down my eyes while reading it. I knew him for last 26 years and he influenced my life in many different ways. He was our family's adviser, a metor and a great friend and neighbour who would go to that extra length to help. He was very witty and we as a family will miss him very much. May he rest in heaven.

May His(Nazmul Hussain ) soul Rest in Peace.
Inna Lillahi Wa inna ilaihi Raazivoon.
( Certainly We are all from Allah & Unto Him Shall we Return).
With Salaam & Lots of love from,
http://ameer2010.blogspot.com/